Rules Of Living
	There are many written rules which you have to obey.  Many of them are sensible, such as "don't kill anybody or put them into a position where they are likely to be killed".  Some less so, like "do not sell anything by the pound or ounce".  There are also unwritten rules of behaviour people tend to follow, such as "teachers shouldn't swear profusely" and "salespeople should not try to force you to buy something".  In fact salespeople who ignore that last one really ought to be sent to jail. Unfortunately there are certain rules of behaviour which not everyone obeys, but if they did, the World would function 603% better than it does now.  Here are a few:- You can't go in if someone's trying to get out - This is really true of the Glasgow Subway.  I once saw some prick push his way onto a packed train as soon as the doors opened, only to have to get out and wait for everyone else who was getting off, before getting on again.  What kind of idiot does that anyway?  This should be rule number one throughout the World. Your religion is probably just as correct as everyone else's - As in, it is not at all correct.  In fact why argue with some other religious guy because he'll just argue right back, and you've got into a destructive feedback cycle.  If you believe some crazy god created everything, or spoke to a prophet via a fox, or loves chicken sacrifices, that's just great.   But it isn't worth blowing yourself up on a bus about it.  Or even talking to me about.  Really, no matter how much passion and comittment you have to your faith, I'll probably only be able to muster a shrug for you in response. Middle-class white people should not have dreadlocks - I say this just about every day, but it's true.  You are a deeply irritating human being if you have them. Grammatical errors in speech are fine - Seriously, I don't care whether a spider is not an "insect".  It is, because that's what everyone says.  Languages are growing and evolving things, not rigid sets of rules.  So fuck off.  And the next person to call me up on a usage of a double negative is getting slapped. Being nice to people is a good thing - This is true.  Trust me, after years of being a miserable cunt I changed my demeanor and now I actually feel a lot better with myself.  Well that could just be the lofepramine.  Either way, you can still utterly despise the vast majority of people you meet (I know I do), but treating them badly just makes you feel like a bastard. Smart slogans are not smart - Do not under any circumstances venture outside your residence wearing a t-shirt with a slogan or phrase which is supposed to be funny/witty/ironic/irreverent.  In all probability it isn't.  It's just a t-shirt which makes you look stupid.  Plus, do you really want your entire self being boiled down by strangers to what your shirt says.  They're not thinking "wow, that person must be fresh and rebellious, with a touch of attitude", they're thinking "that person's parents fucked up".  Also political slogans are a bit fucked up.  "No Blood For Oil"?  Seems like a fair trade to me.  If there was actually a blood/petrol exchange program, I would be first in line, as it saves me giving anymore money to fucking Shell or BP.  And whilst you can agree with the message (invading countries to access their oil reserves being a very stupid thing to do), the fact that you've boiled it down to a four word gross oversimplification makes me want to hit you in the mouth. Back