Mel Gibson Did It
	After getting a tad (read: very) drunk one night I decided to go out drink driving.  Afterall if such luminaries as Mel Gibson can basically get away with it, why can't I?  Afterall I've never worn a codpiece and am not known as "the Road Warrior". This first stumbling block came when I got way drunker than Mr Mad Max.  In fact I was so drunk I could barely stand,  Gibson was apprently still able to do that, so walking out to my car with keys in hand was much more of a struggle than it should have been.  And the second hurdle was the fact I didn't really want to be arrested for drunk driving.  I mean I would have liked to be dragged into a police car and shout mouthing off about Jews, or the Illuminati, or something, but realistically I couldn't. In fact I had a couple of problems with getting arrested on the streets of Glasgow.  Most of all to be arrested I'd need to drive really badly.  And I quite like the fact that I drive well.  Second of all I don't (even when drunk) dislike any racial group enough to blame all the World's problems on them.  Thirdly I, unlike Mel "millionaire" Gibson, couldn't really pay a massive fine for silliness.  Finally I didn't have anywhere to go, so I would have been driving round until I either got caught or sobered up.  So my attempt to relive the moments when Mel got busted were dooomed from the start. So basically I managed to sit down in my car (getting in the wrong side at first) and then see the folly in trying to actually drive anywhere.  I sat there for a couple of minutes then decided that I ought to go to bed. Why did that happen?  I blame the Jews. Home